Last Updated on January 26, 2026

Something has shifted in the way parents — especially moms — are thinking about alcohol.

Quietly and steadily, more people are questioning habits that once felt automatic: the end-of-day wine, the driveway drinks with neighbors, the unspoken belief that alcohol is the fastest way to turn off a tired brain.

Katie Nessel has seen this shift up close. As the creator of Soberish Mom, she hears daily from parents who don’t necessarily want to quit drinking — but don’t want to keep drinking the way they have been.

What’s changing is behavior, yes, but it’s also the general conversation.

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The “In-Between” Space Is Getting Louder

Katie’s story lives in the “in-between” space, the space most people actually occupy.

“I was probably having, like, three to four drinks maybe five nights a week,” she says. “I wasn’t drinking every day; I was still pretty healthy. So in my mind, I was someone who did not have a quote-unquote problem.”

But she felt the pull strengthening. Sleep suffered. Energy dropped. Anxiety crept in. And even though nothing looked “wrong” from the outside, she knew something wasn’t adding up.

That experience is common — and not talked about enough. “I didn’t feel like I saw myself represented in content online,” Katie explains. “There was mommy wine culture on one side, and sobriety on the other. And I didn’t see myself in either anymore.”

Curiosity Instead of Perfection

One of the biggest misconceptions about drinking less is that it requires immediate abstinence, iron willpower, and zero missteps. Katie pushes back hard on that idea.

“Perfection, abstinence is not the bar to entry,” she says. “It’s just having a willingness to try something different and be curious about how alcohol is impacting you.”

Her own process wasn’t linear. She didn’t start with a perfectly executed Dry January. She started mid-month. When she slipped up, she paid attention and kept going.

“The day after my two-week cleanse, I went out with a girlfriend and had four cocktails,” she says. “I woke up and felt like shit. And I was like, that’s it. I’m done with this.”

What mattered wasn’t the slip. It was what she noticed afterward. That mindset shift, from rule-following to self-observation, is what makes change sustainable for many people. Instead of asking, Can I do this perfectly? The better question becomes, What happens when I change this one thing?

Why Moms Feel So Much Pressure Around Drinking

For parents, alcohol often plays a specific role: relief.

“I hear from women all the time who say, ‘I just want to stop reaching for the damn wine,’” Katie says. “But alcohol has become code for ‘I need a break.’”

Parenting requires constant decision-making. The mental load doesn’t shut off. Alcohol offers a fast way to quiet the noise temporarily. Combine that with the social glue of “mommy wine culture,” and drinking can feel less like a choice and more like belonging.

“When you’re part of that culture, you’re part of the tribe,” Katie explains. “And when you’re not, it can feel really scary and isolating.”

That fear — of being different, of making others uncomfortable, of disrupting the dynamic — keeps many parents drinking longer than they want to.

The Social Fear Is Often Louder Than Reality

One of the most surprising things Katie noticed when she started being open about drinking less was how often others quietly felt the same way.

“Almost every time I say I’m taking a break or I’m not drinking tonight, someone else says, ‘Oh, me too,’” she says.

Katie emphasizes that choosing to drink less doesn’t mean convincing anyone else to do the same.

“What you want to do has nothing to do with anyone else,” she says. “You’re not living their life for them.”

And yet, simply modeling a different choice often changes the tone of a room.

Practice Is What Rewires the Habit

Social situations are where most people feel stuck. Even those who feel confident drinking less at home can freeze when routines involve friends, parties, or shared rituals.

Katie describes this as learned wiring.

“You go to a party, you drink, you get that dopamine rush,” she says. “Your brain learns: this is when we drink.”

The only way to undo that wiring is repetition — not avoidance forever, but practice.

“That first time I went out with my girlfriends and didn’t drink, it was hard,” she says. “But I got home and felt so proud of myself. The second time was easier. Now I don’t even think about it.”

Confidence isn’t something you think your way into. It’s something you earn through reps.

The Cultural Shift Is Real

What once felt fringe now feels increasingly normal.

Katie points to several visible changes: declining alcohol sales, younger generations drinking less, and a growing awareness of alcohol’s health risks.

“We were told red wine was good for you,” she says. “Even my OB told me to pour a glass of wine to relax.”

That misinformation shaped habits for years. Now, the narrative is changing.

One turning point came when the U.S. Surgeon General called for clearer cancer warnings on alcohol. “Less than half of Americans knew about the cancer risk,” Katie says. “That was shocking — and that was me too, a few years ago.”

More information doesn’t force decisions. But it does make ignoring the question harder.

Why Drinking Less Becomes Easier Over Time

One unexpected part of cutting back is how alcohol starts to lose its appeal.

“When you drink less and then have a drink, you really feel it,” Katie says. “You don’t sleep well. You feel off. And you start asking, was that even worth it?”

That question — Was it worth it? — becomes clearer the more distance you have.

Katie’s original goal was to cut back by 50%. What surprised her was how that goal quietly shifted.

“As I kept drinking less, I was like, I feel so amazing. I don’t need this as much as I thought,” she says.

Giving herself permission to drink occasionally didn’t make her drink more. It made her want it less.

Harm Reduction Isn’t Giving Up, It’s Moving Forward

Katie is sometimes criticized for not promoting sobriety exclusively. Her response is simple: harm reduction works. “Harm reduction is one of the most successful ways to help people change a habit,” she says. “Whether that’s alcohol or anything else.”

Not everyone needs the same endpoint. Some people will quit entirely. Others will dramatically reduce. Both paths can lead to better health, better sleep, and a stronger sense of agency.

“The only way to find out what works for you is to try,” Katie says.

For Katie, the most encouraging sign is normalization.

“My dream is that you walk into an event and someone asks, ‘Would you like regular champagne or non-alcoholic champagne?’” she says. “No eyebrows raised. Just a choice.”

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